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First order of business – discharge? Perfectly normal. Having discharge is nothing to worry about – in fact, it’s usually nothing more than a sign that everything is working as it should be. Now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take a closer look at the differences between happy discharge (AKA what we do want to see in our pants) and sad discharge (AKA what we don’t want to see in our pants). You there, cringing, I see you, I feel you, but read on. It’s time to destigmatise this bollocks once and for all.
The vagina has a precarious balance of bacteria, pH, and moisture. It’s a pretty sensitive soul and it doesn’t take much to upset this balance. Vaginal discharge is caused by mucus produced by the cervix. The cervix is the lower part of the uterus that leads into the vagina. This discharge keeps your vagina moist and helps to protect it from infection. It changes throughout your menstrual cycle and it’s perfectly normal to experience variation in amount of discharge, colour, and consistency throughout your cycle.
Your vagina is pretty good at cluing you in if something’s amiss. Your discharge could be trying to tell you something – it’s pretty helpful that way. Potential reasons for funky discharge include: Sexually Transmitted Diseases; Sexually Transmitted Infections; Bacterial Vaginosis; or a yeast infection.
So, what should we be looking out for?
If you’re experiencing any of the above symptoms, get your butt (or should I say vagina?) off to a doctor, ASAP rocky.
To put your mind at rest, here’s the lowdown on discharge that isn’t trying to send you a coded message, unless that message is ‘all good! Everything’s working as it should be!’
There’s a really insidious and damaging myth in society that women’s bodies are unclean and that we must endlessly be at war with them, buying perfumes and creams and razors in order to wrest them into submission. Don’t get me wrong, I want you to maintain your hygiene, if only for the benefit of your desk-mates. But this is a much less complicated task than mainstream media would have you believe; if you’re washing yourself and hopefully using deodorant – on your armpits, not your vagina – you’re probably fine. By using products intended to neutralise odour, inserting soaps, or blasting water up there (AKA, douching) you’re actually much more likely to harm your body than you are to make it ‘cleaner’.
If you treat your vagina like a bloody temple and remain mindful of everything you put in there, you’ll significantly reduce the risks of upsetting the pH balance or contracting any of the aforementioned infections. That means no toxic tampons, no douching, no scented perfumes, chemical-filled wipes, and, for the love of good, no food stuffs (this one goes out to the woman I saw recently tweeting about spooning yogurt into her vagina. Please don’t do this, babe. I beg you.) If something’s wrong, your vagina will let you know, but make life easier for her, yeah? All she needs is a wash with warm water.
And finally, don’t feel embarrassed about going to the doctor about your discharge, period problems, or reproductive health in general. Doctors, Nurses, and Sexual Health professionals are just that – professionals. They don’t care, they won’t judge (and if they do, high-tail it outta there and get yourself a doctor who isn’t stuck in the 1950s), and trust me, they’ve seen it all.