Celebrating world kindness day with the incredible Zoe Mallett
By Nikki Michelsen
Nov 9, 2022
Meet Zoe Mallet: a certified life coach and founder of ZMLC — a platform
that offers an accessible, relatable and real approach to life coaching for anyone who wants to feel mentally healthier. Zoe’s also the host of a radio show called cut the bullshit, where she brings on psychotherapists, psychoanalysts and other professionals to help work through listeners’ problems and emotional blocks. We caught up with Zoe in honor of world kindness day to give us tips on how to be a bit kinder to ourselves. Enjoy her wisdom and give yourself a lil extra love today!
What are small things we can all do to incorporate more kindness/empathy into our lives?
Giving people the benefit of the doubt (even if it stings in your chest to do so) is super important. We don't always know what someone else is going through or the traumas they are holding that they haven't healed, and while it isn't an excuse for bad behaviour it can help us to not take things personally which can help us understand situations in a more effective way.
Another way is to practice noting down every time we speak about ourselves in a negative way. Do this by clicking your fingers as a sign to pause and reflect back on what you've just said and how you could rephrase it in a kinder way.
What's your current happy anthem
(the song you listen to when you need to feel good)?
You know what.. at the moment I can't stop playing 'Sweet Jungle’ by Dogger x [ K S R ]. it's a D&B tune which is surprising as I haven't been into it for years, I'm more of a hip-hop and afrobeat head. This song makes me feel really optimistic and nostalgic. Also, a song that I listen to every day that I beg everyone to listen to as well is ‘You Are Enough’ by Londrelle. I listen to this every night before I go to sleep. It's my way of meditating.
What do you like to do for yourself when you're having a down day?
Allowing myself to be slow! I always take a couple of minutes each morning when I'm in bed to try and work out my mood. then if I'm feeling low or tired, I think about the things in my day that are important, need my energy or can't be moved and make those the main focus.
I'll have a nice long shower, put on my comfiest tracksuit, make sure I eat good (lots of healthy goodness) and take the day at a slow pace really listening to my thoughts. I usually try and clear my evening so I can have some me-time doing something chilled like reading or watching telly, and if I have an evening commitment I try and give myself extra time to get there, drink lots of water and remind myself that it's okay if I'm not 100% as long as I try my best. I'll always make sure to get the earliest night I can and wind down by putting candles on, putting fresh PJs on, lighting some palo santo wood and lastly reminding myself that tomorrow I may feel better, but even if I don't, I can take it slow again. It's really the small, simple things that make all the difference.
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Sometimes it's best to say nothing than to say something you don't mean or don't understand. My friend's parents told me this years ago and it's always really stuck. We're responsible for every single word we speak, and we can often find ourselves trying to fill a silence or feel like we have to defend ourselves. Or we responded when our emotions were heightened and our words (as like other people’s words) can cause confusion or damage.
There is also a huge benefit in not feeling like we always have to add something to a conversation when actually it's sometimes beautiful if you just absorb it all in and go away and think about your own perspective by yourself. we often find it hard to walk away and we feel shy of awkward silences, but it's when we lean into them that we can find calmer resolutions and discover a lot more about the topic and ourselves.
What's the most rewarding part of your job?
Seeing people have a sense of relief from their pains and struggles through the work we've done together. The way they hold themselves, speak about themselves and the things that are happening around them start to shift, they get this feeling like, “oh okay, everything's gonna be okay, I can do this. I'm starting to appreciate myself and I'm kinda liking myself a bit more.” it's such a good feeling knowing that someone's gonna be able to deal with their life a little easier, be able to enjoy their life and move from a place of feeling hopeless to hopeful. It makes me really happy to see people grow and take back control.
Tell us about your period toolkit, what mix of products do you use?
Tampons for the day and pads for the evening or when I'm at the end of my period. I am dying to try the high waisted period pants as I feel like they are going to be a game-changer!
What's your favourite ohne
cycle care product?
BLISS BAR!!! gimme gimme gimmme. I keep them in my brb I'm bleeding pouch, which is so cute. I have to hide them now though because I gave my housemate one to try
and let's just say she's also a fan, and I lost too many bars to her cravings haha!
What's your biggest period craving?
Pasta with loads of cheese seems to be popping up too much in my period tracker lol! I do try and eat more fruit around my period because I get really sluggish. I buy fruit pots to make it easier and more fun!
Do you have any period rituals
or hacks?
Tracking, tracking, tracking! I only started tracking my periods a year ago (have mercy on my soul), and I have learnt SO much about myself and my cycle. I am much nicer to myself now I know why maybe one week I feel bloated (when before I thought I was just eating too much even though I wasn't, so I would try and not eat when I was hungry which as you can imagine just backfired). And now I know I get super tired 4 days before I'm due on, so on those days I clear my evening plans and work from home. Every time I track it now I'm like duh, I should have been doing this years ago. It's changed my life.
My ritual is to just remind myself that during my period it's okay to not be as productive and eat more than usual and instead of getting annoyed at that I think.. wow this is actually super cool that my body does this.
Ohne Team
Image credit: zoemallett_
