Why can't I orgasm?

You're not alone. More than 3 million people searched to understand orgasms in 2022. We’re here to help you through your symptoms, sans shame.

The pleasure gap is real.

According to recent studies, 95% of heterosexual men report that they orgasm during penetrative sex, compared to just 65% of women. This phenomenon, known as the pleasure gap, highlights the unequal distribution of sexual pleasure between men and women. So what gives? One possible explanation is the lack of focus on female pleasure in mainstream media and education (surprise, surprise). Many women report feeling pressure to prioritise their partner's pleasure over their own, leading to a lack of focus on their own desires and needs.

Masturbation is power

We can’t stress this enough: masturbation will set you free. Becoming intimate with your own body is the first step to reaching your orgasm with another human. Solo sex will help you understand the ins and outs of your pleasure, and research has shown that masturbation enhances the likelihood of orgasming with another person. So, set aside some time and schedule a date night in with yourself.

Add some lubrication: Lubrication is essential for comfortable and enjoyable sex and can be especially important for anyone with a vagina. Lube can help increase sensitivity and pleasure (tingly lube, anyone?), and can also help reduce vaginal dryness that’s caused by medications, the menstrual cycle, or menopause. 

Communicate to educate

Letting your partner know what you need in the bedroom is sexy and powerful. Instead of feeling ashamed or awkward about guiding your partner, use it as an opportunity to deepen your connection while adding some fun into the mix. Remember: it doesn’t have to be serious! Let curiosity lead and enjoy exploring each other’s bodies.

Get out of your head: Stress is one of the biggest orgasm-killers. When you’re stressed, your mind is in control – taking away agency from your physical body, and thus making you feel disconnected from pleasure. We like to think that foreplay starts way before you even make it into the bedroom. It starts by creating a safe space that soothes your nervous system and puts you in a relaxed, sensual state. Put on some good music, take a nice long shower or bath, and focus on your senses. Your body will take the lead.

Prioritise your pleasure with intimacy essentials that deepen connections and heighten sensations.

This new year, make it a resolution to put play first. Whether it’s solo or partner play, connecting with your sensuality and unlocking your pleasure is key to feeling embodied (not to mention it does wonders for boosting those oxytocin levels). We’ve scoured the internet to find the best brands who are passionate, intentional, and unapologetic about putting pleasure first. Get ready to deepen your intimacy with our curated (and rigorously tested) range of sex-positive products.
P.S. We’re giving a way a *free* gift with every order with £25 today. We don’t want to give it all away, but we know you’ll get along smoothly. 

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